Disappointed

After 2 weeks of just opening my blog, staring at it and trying to write at least one line, I realized enough's enough. I'm writing my blog for myself. oh, I can hear all the contrary opinions real loud here. But I'm not going to pay attention. My posts remind people of English homework?? Lets say I'm a student still in school days. My posts don't have the great subjects? Oh please, don't give me that. I write what I feel like writing. I'm not a journalist/columnist who should write about a particular subject in a deadline. No thank you, I prefer to be a free spirit. All I do is complaining on my blog?? Ok, I feel like complaining all the time. What's the big deal. People complain all the time. I can't write how sunny and happy I am when all I want to do is complain. Alright, after my customary complaints on self, lets move on to complaints on .................... movies I watched recently with some (a lot of )boring gushing thrown in.

The much awaited film of the year "Raavan" . I went totally crazy from the time I first got to hear the songs of this movie and declared this film's gonna be a blockbuster. Inspite of the bad reviews, I reasoned I would love the film anyway because of my favorite actors(stars). But to nobody's surprise, my fave actors couldn't hold the interest after the 1st few scenes. I love Aishwarya rai and Abhishek bachchan but they couldn't do absolutely anything to the film. ok, i loooooooved ragini's (aishwarya) character in the film. But what happened to the two male leads?? Mani Ratnam is an amazing directorand genius. He just couldn't bring to life convincingly the fantasy which he created in his brain. To be really honest, the movie doesn't have a justification for anything that's happening in it. The movie starts with Beera (abhishek) shown as this bad bad guy but never once in the film did I ever feel a blip of fear for this apparently crazy guy. So there's no substantial Raavan. The SP Dev Pratap (vikram) is shown as a bad guy towards the end. Right from the 1st frame he hunts for Beera and I don't know why. And sadly, the police force is shown in a really really bad light. Portraying them as people who exploit the tribals... really!! It's just war. The whole film is just a war for absolutely no reason. The charcter Beera who's apparently bad (black) changes to gray to complete white towards the climax. And Dev Pratap who is the good guy (gray) is made to look really really black who uses his sweet wife to track Beera down and kill him.  The saving grace is the wonderful locations and the camera work. It was beautiful. And the people who make this film worth watching are Ravi kissen and Govinda for their brilliant portrayal of Beera's brother and the forest guard respectively. Priyamani got completely wasted. Too bad I'm so disappointed with this film. I decided I'm gonna watch the telugu version soon to compare.

I always wanted to watch the X-Men series. Maybe I was having really high expectations, I was disappointed again. But the movies are pretty much good. I thought wolverine was a much powerful and thoughtful sort of guy but he's not. so the disappointment. People sacrificing and dying just for the sake of twists and turns is becoming sooooo boring and repulsive to me these days. 

Till I find another thing to complain about,

adiós

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Twilight and What it means to me

All I can see these days is romance. Romance everywhere, presenting itself to me in a variety of forms, popping out at me from unexpected corners. Maybe all this started with my brief stint with the Twilight and The princess diaries. I know it is very childish to swoon and drool over  romance books. But I couldn't help it. When such good stuff gets thrown at you, you cannot turn a blind eye. The way I found myself consumed by the beautiful pages of twilight is so typical. So magical. My cousin came for the summer holidays from the US. I noticed this book lying in her bag. She warned me not to touch anything in her bag. But being the girl I am (an ardent bookaholic), I checked out the book when she went out. And I couldn't put the book down during the rest of the day. Oh... she got quite angry with me. But that's another matter. Thus I got sucked, sucked into the misty and wet town of Forks, sucked into the lives of the most romantic couple I've ever known, sucked into an alien life (I read novels for that purpose alone). That was the beginning of my tryst with unconditional love and of course my love affair with the twilight series.

So what is it about romance that so turns people on?? I wondered. I pondered. I didn't get the answer and probably will never get. But what is it about twilight that makes crazy fans out of boring housewives?? What is it about twilight that caused a kind of sensation it is today?? It is being called the twilight phenomenon these days. What is it that stroke a chord with me??  That is a pretty answerable question. Is it the love between a human girl and a tantalizingly handsome vampire who is supposed to kill the girl because of  thirst but instead falls in love with?? Is it the beautiful and romantic scenes Stephenie Meyer throws them in? Is it the vampires with their impeccable beauty, superior strength and old worldly charms?? Or is it the  adolescent hunks who become cool werewolves?? I believe the answer does not lie in any of the above questions. The answer lies in between the lines of the prized pages of that novel. I admit the lines are all corny and clichéd but there in lies the charm of this worshiped book.  Yes. We love those lines. I love those lines. And I absolutely think that the success of the novel lies in how much it conveys between the lines. Yes yes. The gist of the whole reading between the lines for me in this book is love. Just plain old love. Any love. Every kind of love. And the human weakness. And in this case vampire and werewolf weaknesses too. Not that they have too many weaknesses. Their weakness is love too. See. I'm amazed at how this treasured word pops up everywhere. I realized that  the core of every weakness in that book is thirst (pun intended). The thirst for pure, strong, unconditional, irresistible, irrevocable love.

Oh........ it meant a lot to me (the book I mean). And it does now too. It made me appreciate everything around me more fully. It made me see so much love that I couldn't have possibly seen before. It made me realize the obscene amount of love I could  possess in my veins, in my being. It made me more aware of my emotions. It taught me to be myself and never to run away from who you are. It taught me how to make do magnificently with what little I have. Finally it all comes down to loving myself. I learnt it in the most wonderful manner possible for which I fervently and happily thank my stars.

Cheers to love in this wonderful and extremely beautiful world of our's.

My "quirky" career concerns

I've been thinking of writing for a couple of days. and when I just went to look at my blog page, I fell in love with writing again. I forgot how much I love talking and giving my opinions on everything. So it's summer or do we call it early monsoons? So the basic question after all the "how have you beens"  is "what are you doing in your holidays?" The same question is asked by people ranging from 70 to 10 yrs of age. My standard reply is watching movies, reading books, watching TV and sleeping. But the counter replies are so varied and rich in advice particularly adults' replies. You are wasting your precious time of youth to Can't you do anything productive? to Don't you have any patriotism? Do something for your country and finally to What are you planning to study after B.Sc?. My reply would be just a sheepish smile because I don't want to start a fight with "elder" people as my mom sternly puts it. Oh!!!! I'm a no-nonsense person and a good argument lover. this opportunity is too great to leave. But some things are best unsaid, that is, before the person you want to take a swipe at. So I decided to "take a swipe" behind their backs. This can be very interesting and relieving for me. Here goes.

I'm not wasting my precious youth at all. Instead I'm doing exactly what everyone should do and what these so called adults did at our age - Enjoying every moment of life. As for doing anything productive, I'm doing what is needed to become productive - Studying. Any patriotism?? Who said anything about the country?? Ok, I don't want to stay any where near India but that doesn't mean I'm not patriotic. My idea of patriotism is very different thank you very much. Who said I don't want to do anything for my country. I've a loooooong life ahead and I have a plan. Finally, what am I planning to study after B.Sc? Thats not a question at all. They don't want me to answer. That's a conversation starter in which they will advise me, no convince me, of what's best for me i.e., I should definitely study to write the Indian civil services exam because I can read a book without putting it down for days. Now that's crazy. They don't listen to my repeated protests of I'm interested in doing my Ph.D in chemistry which is dismissed with a wave of a hand. So that person thinks that he has more say in my personal matters just because he is an adult and supposedly "saw the world".

How dare that person sit in my own house and dismiss me? There's no need for other people to confuse me more as I'm confused already because of my varied interests. I wanted to be an archeologist at one point of time. And I have a great interest in fashion which I wanted to pursue in London but I'm warned with a  "It's not a respectable career darling!!!". And I wanted an English degree simply because I love the language. And then I had a small vision of me being a New York times' best-selling author. Let's see,  an Oscar winning actress, a hot-shot business woman, a fashion photographer ................... and I ended up confused and decided I want to become a scientist on the advice of my favorite grand father. I know I did a crazy thing but somehow it felt good, so I went along with it. And now this man comes and tells me I should do something else. Ok, do you readers have any more suggestions?? Bring it on!! It'll do a great help to me. How about  me being a chef??

Hope and Obsession

I recently watched 3 idiots and it was awesome. It deserved every bit to become the highest grosser in Hindi cinema. After watching that film, I felt the rise of  a familiar feeling which was lying dormant in me for a long time. It was Hope. The film gave me hope that whatever happens in the present, it cannot get worse than this. And there is an all probability of a happily ever after in the future. And it gave me really valuable lessons which I already know. It made me realise that I cannot turn a blind eye on my inner voice. And yeah lately I have been learning a lesson from everything thats capable of giving it. I watched a movie called Penelope some time ago. It was a very valuable watch for me because it showed that being beautiful is not everything in the world (though I don't agree with it) and you have got to love yourself the way you are. And how can I forget to mention the Twilight series. Those books are really capable of teaching something to us if we willed ourselves to read between the lines. That book made me think over about the most popular subject in the world. Love. It gave me a new yardstick for understanding more about Love. Speaking of movies, I watched Arya 2 not so long ago and I think I have to throw in a compliment to Allu Arjun. He dances like a dream. So I think the best cure for depression is watching a movie because you can lose yourself in it (no one except my uncle agrees to with this). And then you come out fully loaded with Hope.

Recently I came across this great fashion blog by the great Susie Lau called style bubble. It was mind blowing. You simply get addicted to fashion just by looking at it. And to think she is just 26 years old and already sooooo accomplished  (I mean she gets to sit in the first (privileged) row in all fashion shows). She is a pioneer in fashion blogging. Speaking of fashion, I'm reminded of this post in my friend's blog ridiculing fashion (over) conscious people. He talked about a star who was ridiculed by the media for not carrying a right clutch. That was a little over the top I think (i.e, his ridiculing these people and the imaginary media people ridiculing the star).

Apart from this fashion obsession (I have been reading only fashion books for a fortnight), I'm proud to tell you my new obsession. Jane Austen. All her seven novels are runaway hits and classics too. She wrote the most beautiful prose I've ever read. She successfully portrayed the social situation of her time in her books. Around that time, there were two other authors whose books were very well received. Charlotte Bronte and Emily Bronte. I've read the book by Charlotte Bronte i.e, Jane Eyre. I don't mean to be overly critical but her book contained so much of death and sadness with occasional bursts of happiness which I think reflected her life very faithfully. But even she cannot be denied the compliment for her very elegant prose.

Ah!!! English language.This has been my obsession from a very young age. No word can describe the beauty of this language. I've read in a recent 'Times of India' article that the evolution of Internet and social networking sites lessened the vocabulary of children. It has been found that for a good vocabulary children are supposed to learn about 1000 words a day which has dropped down to 800 words per day (pardon me if I put in the wrong figures). it is quite dreadful indeed. I feel it is very important to restrict the lingo of messages and networking sites to the virtual world only. I prefer the old Victorian era English language to our current situation. I feel there is no need to butcher the language with the advent of technology.

P.S. Hope is  lovely.

My first ever new year resolution

I've never made a new year resolution in my 17 years on this earth because I believe making a resolution which we never try to keep is a waste of brain space which later turns into that nasty feeling of guilt which in turn pricks us at every possible occasion. Last night, when the euphoria of watching a good movie and welcoming a new year couldn't be suppressed (which affected my sleep directly), my train of thoughts took me to my love of books and how much I wanted to be a great writer one day. I thought I have to create a blog and try to write something at least for my conscience's sake. And then I realized that I, unwittingly, made a new year resolution. Being the middle of the night, I felt I can do anything. Then morning came and along with it, all my fears came out of the closet in which they were shut for the night. The new year resolution went out of the house just like that. Then a friend said " you are just an idiot who's watching others swim but are hesitating to go in yourself". Well, I believe it is true. And so I took the plunge without knowing how to swim. Personally, I don't think I'm writing this just to keep my new year resolution. I'm writing this to prove my friends' infinite faith in me. My friends, as all friends do, believe in me and my talents which I myself don't believe in.

I have a hundred thousand reasons not to write which I myself think are completely irrational. I didn't want to start writing until I managed to procure a nice name for my blog. That is so stupid. As any one can understand its just a reason to avoid writing. This particular name for my blog is the courtesy of a very talented friend who is friend enough to believe that I could write. Honestly I couldn't come up with anything more creative than that. But as Eddie in the movie America's Sweethearts will say I'm grateful for the sun, I'm grateful for the nature surrounding me, I'm grateful for my friends who are the very best of people. Leaving the corny things aside, I can't believe that I'm writing (coz I know it sucks). And so that is the story of my first ever new year resolution.